Candy hell on earth.

Chocolate, cheese, cake pops, and candy. Sangria, soda, pumpkin ale, oh my. These are a few of my favorite things and as luck would have it all things I couldn’t have at the Halloween baby bash I attended with my girls today.

I was tempted. I even grabbed a plate and served myself a chocolate covered brownie cake pop. I looked at it for a while, stared at it with the same intensity Psy stares at the girl dancing inside the metro train in the Gangnam Style video.

I’m honestly a couple more whines away from stuffing myself with a handful of my daughter’s chocolate stash. It’s just been that kind of a day. Glad I survived candy hell and gladgladglad glad it’s over.

Now all I have to do is keep my sick daughter company and breast feed the other one every 2 hours. Piece of cake, piece of pie.

Food intake today… Drum roll…
Eggs
No nitrate, preservative free ham
Broccoli/Cauliflower/Tomatoes
Apple/Banana
Zucchini
Guacamole
Salad
Beef!!!
Carrots

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Why poor, poorpaleo?

I decided on the name poorpaleo because while I love the idea of being able to eat all organic fruits and veggies, omega fortified/free range/all vegetarian diet eggs, bison steaks and only the finest of meats, it’s just not possible.

Walmart and Target are fancy stores for me at this rather low point of my life and while they’re great stores to find bargains on decorations and clothes… food, not so much. I try and buy organic salad mixes usually found at either store, frozen veggies, deli meat (I wish they had Applegate) the kind that says no added preservatives or nitrates, eggs that are the best value money wise and fruit that comes with some sort of protective peel (bananas, oranges, cantaloupe).

I’m trying to save my pennies to venture out to Trader Joe’s because they usually have good food at decent prices but it’s not like they’re right around the corner or are willing to deliver. It can be up to an hour drive if I’m stuck in traffic and again, poorpaleo, I can’t afford to use gas that way.

CrossFit is usually associated with the Paleo lifestyle and again, I wish I could afford to join a gym and really dive in 100% but every gym I’ve found charges over $100. They also make you take some sort of more expensive beginner’s course all for safety reasons I completely understand. I haven’t seen a single gym that offers a payment plan but of course their main tagline is usually always

it’s worth it

Of course it’s worth it but not all of us can afford it. Shouldn’t something that is that good for you be a little more within reach? I know that it’s not the gym’s fault I can’t afford to join but how about giving me a job in exchange? Shoot, I’ll clean toilets. I’ll go on protein runs. Pick up lunches. File.

Poorpaleo for me is buying the best food I can, looking up wods online, and using my baby as weights. No dumbbell sets, tires, kettle balls, coaches pushing me to my potential, or other equipment. Can’t afford it but making the best out of it one wod at a time.

Oh sweet chocolate of mine.

Maybe going Paleo the Monday before Halloween wasn’t the brightest of ideas. I’m surrounded by chocolate, marshmallows, lollipops, and amazing looking cupcake posts on my Instagram feed. This whole no added sugar part is driving me bananas. I want chocolate is now I need chocolate in my head. No amount of Nick Jr. can distract me. I feel empty. I have a void that can only be filled by a dark chocolate almond Godiva bar.

I’ve decided to try and set up some sort of candy trade with my daughter. I’ll let her keep 5-10 pieces for the rest of the week and offer her art supplies for the rest. Disclaimer, my daughter is in no way overweight or fed junk food on a consistent basis. But yeah, I let her have a happy meal once in a while, I’ll buy Udi’s soft chocolate chip cookies and give her one while watching a movie, and cotton candy once a year at the county fair? Yes. And guess what? We can have candy at home and she’ll still pick an apple or a bowl of grapes over any candy available.

It’s for her and my other baby girl that I’m doing this. I’ve been tired lately, no energy at all, a complete mess. There have been days when a chocolate bar and coffee have been breakfast and I can’t keep simply trying to survive like that. I want to live. So here’s to a sweet fruit-filled victory, cheers!

Muffin top blues.

Day one is done.

I made myself go to the gym today and decided to join the Zumba class in session. Mirrors can be such horrible, horrible things when you’re overweight and your self-esteem has already written a suicide note just in case. I wasn’t wearing anything skanky or too tight but my muffin top still decided to play peek a boo every time I had to jump or stretch towards the ceiling which in Zumba is pretty much the whole class. I would be lying if I said it didn’t depress me and that it didn’t make me want to cry into a bowl of ice cream. Ice cream doesn’t judge you, you know?

My fiancé also decided to taunt me this morning about my lifestyle change and even threw in the old

so how long do you think this is going to last?

I did it though. I fought through this morning’s craving of toast to go along with my coffee, cursed the box of chocolate my daughter is selling to hell, and even looked the other way as the fluffiest of all marshmallows danced around me.

It’s only the first day but it’s the first day of the rest of my new life and I am damn proud of myself.

Oh wow.

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Taking these pictures hurt me. Posting these pictures makes me sick to my stomach. I know I’m not obese but I’m out of shape, and that’s what kills me. I don’t want to be skinny, I want to be strong. I want to feel good starting from the inside out. I’ve been doing well so far today with the eating. No bread, no added sugar, no dairy, but it’s only 2 so cross your fingers for me.

Poor.

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When I say I’m poor I’m not exaggerating that much. My fiancĂ© and I decided to move out of state incredibly unprepared. He has had no luck finding a job and with 2 kids and bills to take care of I’m a couple of days away from applying for WIC. How am I going to afford a paleo diet? I’m spending today doing research and while I know I won’t be able to buy all the fancy meat and produce I want to I’ll just do the best I can. I’ll be posting recipes, before and progress pictures, and random mom things. I’m excited and hope I’m able to find people with advice, encouragement, ideas, and maybe even someone I can inspire.

Hello world!

Oh hey, I’m just a poor, fat, middle aged mama about to embark on the fitness journey of my life. I grew up playing all kinds of sports but two kids and a thousand bad food choices later I’m in the worst shape of my life. I have cellulite, stretch marks, and sagging in places I never thought possible. I’ve hit rock bottom physically and it’s now or never. It all begins Monday. Oh that dreadful Monday. Give me bucketfuls of chocolate, now.