It’s been one of those days. I seriously don’t know if I’m forever PMS’ing or if I’m just 29 going on 67.
I want to take the time to admit what may already be obvious.
I’m an emotional overeater. This week has by far been the worst in a long time.
While I actually researched and took the time to cook a Paleo friendly Thanksgiving dinner the rest of the week has been horrible.
I’ve eaten tons of bread, milk chocolate (which I absolutely hate), sour cream (ick), and fast food. I feel bloated, emotional, and know for a fact I’ve gained weight. I cringe just thinking about the pictures I said I would post Monday. You’d think I’d be more diligent about my eating and exercise and trust me I want to be but for some reason I’m overwhelmed.
I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep or the stress over not knowing if we’re going to make ends that’s just sucking every ounce of energy out of me and leaving me barely breathing but I have to snap out of it, now.
I haven’t gone to the gym once. I’ve made horrible food choices. I’ve even been sneaking sips of soda. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
Am I pregnant? Is it hormonal? Should I seek out some sort of support group?
Oh hell no.
Push. Shove. Scream.
The occasional choke hold.
That’s how I remember Black Friday. Granted I haven’t been able to shop on this most glorious and holy of shopping days in two years but, seriously? I went to Target yesterday and there were about 20 people in the store.
All overly polite. Not a tantrum throwing toddler in sight.
And the sales and door busters? Lame. The only thing I scored was Brave for $10 (worth every damn penny). Other than that my shopping was limited to eggs, baby food, and salad because we’re gangsta like that. I thought you knew?
And well, I don’t know what kind of crazy decides to post progress pictures after the gluttony that is Thanksgiving but oh dang, that would be me.
This post isn’t about Paleo or fitness, my disheveled looks, or terrorizing kids.
This is about love. The beautiful beginning and inescapable end.
My father is a cheater. My mother is a forgiver.
I promised myself and my little universe that I would never cheat. What do you do when cheating is not an option? What do you do when after trying and trying to talk and work through things you’re constantly shut down or labeled as 5150?
How are you expected to try your best when you’re not taken seriously to begin with?
How do you survive living day after day feeling like an underpaid nanny?
What do you do when you can’t keep Georgia off your mind?
Dear Paleo gods,
Forgive me for I have sinned today and maybe yesterday. I’m still in a zombie like state so you can’t really trust the words I’m typing into my phone right now.
Sunday will be the day I confess all my fat, sugar, preservative filled sins to the world (the 2.5 people that follow my blog, the .5 is because maybe someone’s child pressed the follow sign on accident) Not to mention my lack of exercise and dates with hot water and soap.
1. I walked out of my house looking like I am People of Walmart.
2. I might have indulged in a packet of chocolate covered almonds, I did, twice.
3. I am now watching Glee since there are no more teenage vampire shows on my Netflix queue.
4. My armpits and legs are begging to be shaven, I drown out their cries with another piece of bacon.
I will run tomorrow.
I will Zumba my jiggly, cellulite butt until it screams for mercy.
I will lift weights and drop it like it’s hot (to squat position).
I will no longer cheat.
I will be strict this week and post pictures on Monday.
Just don’t blame me for the burning sensation in your retinas afterwards.
Happy week of giving thanks!
The main problem with hanging out with younger girls is their selfishness.
They not only want all the attention, they demand it. They have no respect for your feelings and to hell with compromise.
I was up with two chicks all night and the party hasn’t stopped. Between one yelling for me every 2 minutes and the other one demanding shots of breast milk every 2 hours my sanity decided to jump ship around 1 this morning.
With all the madness around my house this morning and with the two sicklies playing tether ball with my nerves I just had to have toast for breakfast. It was the only thing I had time for. I topped it off with almond butter and a drizzle of honey so there you have it. I also added 1/2 a tsp of sugar to my coffee which gives me the sads because I was thisclose to just going black.
I feel great though. Great? Yeah, I said it. Even with all my ups and downs (the occasional chocolate binge) I’m so thankful for giving Paleo a chance. I haven’t eaten this clean and healthy for years and damn did all those bad food choices sneak up on me and hit me hard.
You’re a dirty player junk food. I demand a rematch.
But bread aside I already feel like I’m on team Charlie Sheen just by not stuffing my face with a chocolate bar this morning. That’s right, even covered in puke and poop this lady right here is winning!
My 5 minute dream of becoming a literary genius is over now though…
Back to that mama grind.
Lunch has been fast, simple, and full of spinach. It cost me a little under $4 for two bags of the good ol’ organic stuff and I still have enough for tomorrow. Red onion and tomatoes are a must and my protein is usually chicken or ground beef. I eat an avocado every other day or make guacamole for the whole family to enjoy. Sometimes I even get crazy and throw in some almonds, I know. Living on the edge is what I do.
On the fitness side of things I’ve been doing research on the Crossfit facilities around the area. While non of them are close by most of them offer a free Saturday workout for the community to try which is awesome. I’ve called a couple of places and plan on observing some classes next week since I don’t have the money to even think about signing up for a membership.
Now if you’ll excuse me I smell something burning in my kitchen. Can’t wait to post some progress pictures!
1. Finished watching season of teenage vampire show.
2. Ate a bag of chocolate covered almonds that set me back 440 calories!! Yikes.
3. Rolled my eyes and cursed under my breath way too many times to count this week.
Hash tags annoy me. Needed to get that off my chest.
I’ve been super hungry lately. I haven’t worked out as much as I should either. Does anyone have any insight on this? I’ve only been on the Paleo kick for about 3 weeks but I swear I’m turning into a ravenous beast.
I want to eat all the time.
My snack was 2 eggs, bell pepper, chicken and spinach.